Fictitious hire car stories
02-13-2015, 05:54 PM
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Fictitious hire car stories
Inspired by another thread
One of my stories includes our man from Spain, Stelios.
Many, many years ago, this bloke I knew hired a car from Easycar for a week's fishing in Wales. He had heard the firm was a stickler for pinning charges on the customer at point of return, so being the diligent angler he was, took out the rather pricey insurance scheme from them. The scheme waved possible excess charges.
My friend, the angler, knew something was adrift on the journey up when his wife said she could see maggots on the floor pan of the hired A class, in her footwell. The angler stopped the little steed and found his one gallon of maggots had indeed broke free from their comfy home in the spare wheel bay and had spent the previous 4 hour journey invading every nook and cranny of the comfy, warm cabin.
Day 2, the angler realised the journey to the lake had what might be described as a tortuous journey over a ploughed field. It seemed the wheel clearance on the little Merc was not that great and definitely not engineered to traverse this sort of terrain. Undeterred and confident in the power of the carus hirus he carried on. By day 5 all things in rear bumper land were not particularly happy. But the little car soldiered on.
On day 7, the day of departure, the angler loaded up the mighty motor with his dirty fishing gear and, at night, started the 5 hour trip home. His wife thought it right to say on the exit from the accommodation 'look over in the that house there, they have a fridge in their front room' (the owner did). Our ever loyal anger did indeed look over, as he was travelling up a narrow, dry stone walled drive. He drove into said wall and tore off the side of the front bumper.
In for a penny he thought so taped it back on.
The car was making a terrible noise on return which sounded like a brick jammed by a spinney bit. After 20 minutes in a layby, it turns out the sound was true to itself. It was indeed a brick. Stuck by an important spinney bit.
On return home, the next day he looked over his little car in the cold light and thought it prudent not to clean it up too much as it attracted attention to the little blemishes that were in existence (torn front bumper, upset rear bumper, squeaky front, offside hub, interior baby fly invasion, the odd fine splash of mud here and there). A quick squirt on the underside helped with some of the clods still attached.
Arriving at the hire depot, Stelios' minnion seemed a bit upset with how the car looked, made a bit of noise about 'off road exemptions' and other very boring things. Our friendly angler talked about his expensive waver insurance and went on his merry way.
No one heard any more about it and they all lived happily ever after.
Shortly after, Mr angler heard that shocking news that these German death traps may topple over. He was lucky to be alive. Stelios should be ashamed of himself. Mr angler thought about how his endeavours may have, indirectly, saved the lives of potential future hirers. These German death wagons needed to be off our roads. This angler had unexpectedly put phase one of the Easycar final solution in place.
One of my stories includes our man from Spain, Stelios.
Many, many years ago, this bloke I knew hired a car from Easycar for a week's fishing in Wales. He had heard the firm was a stickler for pinning charges on the customer at point of return, so being the diligent angler he was, took out the rather pricey insurance scheme from them. The scheme waved possible excess charges.
My friend, the angler, knew something was adrift on the journey up when his wife said she could see maggots on the floor pan of the hired A class, in her footwell. The angler stopped the little steed and found his one gallon of maggots had indeed broke free from their comfy home in the spare wheel bay and had spent the previous 4 hour journey invading every nook and cranny of the comfy, warm cabin.
Day 2, the angler realised the journey to the lake had what might be described as a tortuous journey over a ploughed field. It seemed the wheel clearance on the little Merc was not that great and definitely not engineered to traverse this sort of terrain. Undeterred and confident in the power of the carus hirus he carried on. By day 5 all things in rear bumper land were not particularly happy. But the little car soldiered on.
On day 7, the day of departure, the angler loaded up the mighty motor with his dirty fishing gear and, at night, started the 5 hour trip home. His wife thought it right to say on the exit from the accommodation 'look over in the that house there, they have a fridge in their front room' (the owner did). Our ever loyal anger did indeed look over, as he was travelling up a narrow, dry stone walled drive. He drove into said wall and tore off the side of the front bumper.
In for a penny he thought so taped it back on.
The car was making a terrible noise on return which sounded like a brick jammed by a spinney bit. After 20 minutes in a layby, it turns out the sound was true to itself. It was indeed a brick. Stuck by an important spinney bit.
On return home, the next day he looked over his little car in the cold light and thought it prudent not to clean it up too much as it attracted attention to the little blemishes that were in existence (torn front bumper, upset rear bumper, squeaky front, offside hub, interior baby fly invasion, the odd fine splash of mud here and there). A quick squirt on the underside helped with some of the clods still attached.
Arriving at the hire depot, Stelios' minnion seemed a bit upset with how the car looked, made a bit of noise about 'off road exemptions' and other very boring things. Our friendly angler talked about his expensive waver insurance and went on his merry way.
No one heard any more about it and they all lived happily ever after.
Shortly after, Mr angler heard that shocking news that these German death traps may topple over. He was lucky to be alive. Stelios should be ashamed of himself. Mr angler thought about how his endeavours may have, indirectly, saved the lives of potential future hirers. These German death wagons needed to be off our roads. This angler had unexpectedly put phase one of the Easycar final solution in place.
02-17-2015, 07:31 AM
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