The Raptor

About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back. As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home." So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long-term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities, which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers & shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to
ship.

P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no extra charge!

Mr. Eryozgatliyan

Wow Interesting thread.....

shaolin

i like this

Nicotunes

OMG, that makes a lot of sense....

zyr

that sucks...

I'm Chinese so the custom is that when the parents are retired or whatever, they stay with the oldest son's family (me) until they pass away. It just saddens me that elders are left in homes to die alone here.

dyhppy

damn that's smart. BC, you're getting kinda old; where u at with this?

johnny

wow, is this for real? seems good on paper.... i've never thought of this.

tool462

I'm pretty sure it's just a satirical commentary on nursing homes, and not for real.

DimaK321

when you are old, you need real medical care... which cannot be provided on a ship...
plus you will want to see your grandkids... kids... and all that other good stuff

DimaK321

see... you come from a culture where there IS culture

america is generaly a wild orgy of gluttony and self over-indulgence with no regard for the well being of anyone who does not provide cash or the promise of some sort of enterntainment (i've been here for 11 years now, and this is all I have seen)

that is why it is normal for americans to grow up with their parents, mooch off of them in college (drinking and failing classes along the way - all on the parents' tab, offcourse), then when the kid is old enough to get some sort of job, he/she abondons their parents, because the parents are no longer needed. the parents are visited on holidays (sometimes), as not to be abnormal or something. then, when the parents are too old to take care of themselves they are thrown out. people make the argument that they don't have the time or the money to have the parents live with them... yet this argument most oftem comes from people who drive BMWs (so that BS makes no sense to me)

livin' in america