Official 2010 Joke Board
01-05-2009, 01:45 AM
#11
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Originally Posted by Quick Silver' date='Jan 3 2009, 08:40 PM
Girl Power!
A little boy is playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play.
He tells her, "No. These are for boys."
The little girl runs into the house and tells her mother.
The next day the girl sticks her tongue out at the boy and waves her new football
in his face. The little boy angrily points to his boy's bike and says, "Oh yeah? Well,
only boys can get these!"
But the next day, the little girl has the same bike.
The little boy gets furious, pulls down his pants, points to his unit, and says, "Look,
only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!"
The next day he walks by and the little girl promptly pulls up her dress, points to
her bits, and proclaims, "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these,
I can have as many of those as I want."
A little boy is playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play.
He tells her, "No. These are for boys."
The little girl runs into the house and tells her mother.
The next day the girl sticks her tongue out at the boy and waves her new football
in his face. The little boy angrily points to his boy's bike and says, "Oh yeah? Well,
only boys can get these!"
But the next day, the little girl has the same bike.
The little boy gets furious, pulls down his pants, points to his unit, and says, "Look,
only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!"
The next day he walks by and the little girl promptly pulls up her dress, points to
her bits, and proclaims, "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these,
I can have as many of those as I want."
01-05-2009, 04:46 AM
#12
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heres my contributions to the last one:
The differences between friendships amongst men and women.
One morning a wife just came home and tried sneaking back into bed. The husband then awoke and ask her where she has been all night. She responded that she slept over her best friends house. He later called 10 of her best friends, and everyone said they had no idea where she was that night.
Another morning, the husband came home and tried sneaking back into bed. The women awoke and and asked where he had been all night. He said he slept over his best friends house. She later proceeded to call 10 of his closest friends. 8 of them confirmed he slept over, and 2 insisted he was still there.
The differences between friendships amongst men and women.
One morning a wife just came home and tried sneaking back into bed. The husband then awoke and ask her where she has been all night. She responded that she slept over her best friends house. He later called 10 of her best friends, and everyone said they had no idea where she was that night.
Another morning, the husband came home and tried sneaking back into bed. The women awoke and and asked where he had been all night. He said he slept over his best friends house. She later proceeded to call 10 of his closest friends. 8 of them confirmed he slept over, and 2 insisted he was still there.
01-05-2009, 07:32 PM
#13
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A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a
masked Robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach..
Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in
because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters
and a healthy son.
All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears.
'What's wrong?' asked the mother.
'I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out,' replied the daughter.
The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago
About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears.
'Mom,I was taking a tinkle and this bullet ! Came out.'
Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago.
A week later her son walked into the room in tears.
'It's okay' said the Mom, 'I know what happened You were taking a tinkle and a
bullet came out.'
'No,' said the boy, 'I was playing with myself and I shot the dog.'
masked Robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach..
Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in
because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters
and a healthy son.
All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears.
'What's wrong?' asked the mother.
'I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out,' replied the daughter.
The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago
About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears.
'Mom,I was taking a tinkle and this bullet ! Came out.'
Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago.
A week later her son walked into the room in tears.
'It's okay' said the Mom, 'I know what happened You were taking a tinkle and a
bullet came out.'
'No,' said the boy, 'I was playing with myself and I shot the dog.'
01-05-2009, 07:38 PM
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Do you know what happened 159 years ago this fall... back in 1850?
California became a state.
The people had no electricity.
The state had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.
So basically nothing has changed except the women had real boobs and the men didn't hold hands.
So now you know!
California became a state.
The people had no electricity.
The state had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.
So basically nothing has changed except the women had real boobs and the men didn't hold hands.
So now you know!
01-14-2009, 05:25 AM
#15
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ARCHAEOLOGIST REPORTS:
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: 'California archaeologists, finding traces of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.'
One week later, The Daily Oklahoman, a local newspaper in Oklahoma , reported the following: After digging as deep as 300 feet in his pasture near Mustang, Oklahoma , Bubba Mitchell, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Oklahoma had already gone wireless. Thank Goodness for Bubba. Who said Okies were hicks?
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: 'California archaeologists, finding traces of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.'
One week later, The Daily Oklahoman, a local newspaper in Oklahoma , reported the following: After digging as deep as 300 feet in his pasture near Mustang, Oklahoma , Bubba Mitchell, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Oklahoma had already gone wireless. Thank Goodness for Bubba. Who said Okies were hicks?
