Quick Silver

A True Golfer

Sam and his buddies were hanging out and planning a 4-day golf trip to a nearby
resort. Unfortunately, Sam had to tell them that he couldn't go because his wife
wouldn't let him.

After a lot of teasing and name calling, Sam headed home totally frustrated. The
following week when Sam's buddies left their neighborhood Sam was standing at
the curb waving goodbye. But when they arrived at the golf resort, they were
shocked to see Sam sitting in the lobby, drinking a beer, holding his putter!

"How did you talk your wife into letting you go, Sam?"

"I didn't have to," Sam replied. "Last night after you all left I slumped down
in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then, my wife snuck up behind me
and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise!'. When I peeled her hands back, she
was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee and said, 'Carry me into
the bedroom and tie me to the bed, and you can do whatever you want'.

SO HERE I AM!

Quick Silver

Please open the link bellow and follow the instruction.
It is interesting.


Yeap Click On Me... I'am The Link

Quick Silver

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and
lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her
husband's car pull into the driveway.

"Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's
home early!"

"I can't jump out the window ~ It's raining out there!"

"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. He's got a
hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!"

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window!
As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run
right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running
along beside the others, about 300 of them.

Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as
best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been
watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked. "Oh yes!" he replied, gasping for
air. "It feels so wonderfully free!"

Another runner moved alongside him. "Do you always run carrying your clothes
with you under your arm?"

"Oh , yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right
at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, " Do you always
wear a condom when you run? "

"Nope .... Just when it's raining".

Quick Silver

The Jamaican maid asked for a pay increase.
The wife was upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.
She asked: 'Now Marie, why you feel you deserve a pay increase?'
Marie: 'Well, ma'am, three reasons why I want de increase.'
The first one, mi iron better than you'!
Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'
Marie: 'Your husband says so.'
Wife: 'Oh.'
Marie: 'The second reason.......ah cooks better than you.'
Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'
Marie: 'Your husband again'
Wife: 'Oh.'
Marie: 'My last reason is that I am a better lover than you..'
Wife: (really furious now): 'My husband says that as well??'
Marie: 'No ma'am, the Gardener.
Wife: 'How much yuh seh you want again?

Quick Silver

Have you noticed?

Woman has Man in it;

Mrs. has Mr. in it;

Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;

Madam has Adam in it;

Okay, it all makes sense now...

I never looked at it this way before:

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?

MENtal illness

MENstrual cramps

MENtal breakdown

MENopause

GUYnecologist

AND

When they have REAL trouble, it's a.. HISterectomy

kaansahbaz

There was a man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged 6 miles a day. One day, he took a look in the mirror and noticed that he was tan all over except his penis. So, he decided to do something about it.
He went to the beach, completely undressed himself and buried in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out.
Two old ladies were strolling along the beach, one using a cane. Upon seeing the penis sticking up over the sand, she began to move it around with her cane, remarking to the other lady, "There's no justice in the world."
The other lady asked what she meant and she said.
When I was 20, I was curious about it.
When I was 30, I enjoyed it.
When I was 40, I asked for it.
When I was 50, I paid for it.
When I was 60, I prayed for it.
When I was 70, I forgot about it.
Now, I am 80 and the damn things are growing wild on the beach and I'm too old to squat.

kaansahbaz

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.

'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!

'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.

The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'

kaansahbaz

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

�Mother, where do babies come from?�

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, �Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.�

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, �That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy�s vagina. That�s how you get a baby, honey.� The child seems to comprehend.

�Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy�s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?�

�Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.�

Quick Silver

Hope this touches you the way it touched me!
GOODBYE MOM


A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following
him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout, And she turned to him and said,
"I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much
like my late son."

He answered, "That's okay."

"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store,
It would make me feel so happy."

She then went through the checkout, And as she was on her way out of
the store, The man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."

The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine Into someone's day, he went
to pay for his Groceries..

"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.

"How come so much ... I only bought 5 items..."

The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said
You'd be paying for her things, too."
Bet you thought this was going to be a tear jerker.
Don't trust little Old Ladies!!!

Quick Silver

MY PRIVATE PART DIED

An old man, Mr. Wilson, was living in a nursing home.

One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.

Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong,

'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wilson.

'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'

Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy,
she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wilson. Please accept my condolences.'

The following day, Mr. Wilson was walking down the hall with his Private Part
hanging out of his pajamas.

He met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Wilson,' she said,
'You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.

Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.'

'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Roger Wilson.
'I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.

'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy, 'you did tell me that,
but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?'



'Well,' Roger replied,
'Today is the viewing.'