How To Drive In Los Angeles
04-04-2007 | 07:17 PM
#33
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 2,995
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From: Marina del Rey, CA
Originally Posted by macr88,Apr 2 2007, 04:49 PM
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L A
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On the 105 or 110, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy".
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. L A has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Malibu, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of L A and Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubberneckers shredded tires, cell phoners, deer and other road kill, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.
9. Map quest does not work here, none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the freeway off and on ramps are moved each night.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
12. Do not try to estimate travel time, just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On the 105 or 110, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy".
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. L A has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Malibu, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of L A and Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubberneckers shredded tires, cell phoners, deer and other road kill, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.
9. Map quest does not work here, none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the freeway off and on ramps are moved each night.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
12. Do not try to estimate travel time, just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
man, i sure miss the bay area's traffic. nothing like heading into the city for dinner at 3: pm and BAM! blockade on the bay bridge. trying to get to a club, forget about it. driving in circles for hours looking for a damn parking space 
you're right tho, nothing is as bad as LA. accident on a the 5, or the 101, or the 405 or the 210, will block up everything from the 1 to the 10 to the 60 to the 110 to the 115 to the 91 to the 71 to the 73 to the 22 to the 15 to the 118 to the 2 to the 55 to the 605 ok thats enough...
04-04-2007 | 08:33 PM
#34
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Former Moderator
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 14,849
Likes: 7
From: Emmett
Originally Posted by Asura,Apr 3 2007, 09:29 PM
#13: If you are following Voodoo, make sure you have functional radar, gps and eBrake.
04-04-2007 | 08:36 PM
#35
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 17,792
Likes: 3
From: Bay Area, California
Originally Posted by Asura,Apr 3 2007, 09:29 PM
#13: If you are following Voodoo, make sure you have functional radar, gps and eBrake.
Originally Posted by macr88,Apr 4 2007, 07:33 PM
and some Tokico Illuminas, balls, balls and balls...
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