2008 Joke Thread
02-04-2008 | 06:34 AM
#22
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Joined: Dec 2005
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From: California
Originally Posted by CalBear07,Jan 22 2008, 07:54 PM
To continue the theme...
This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal. To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his penis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?"
The man then turns to him and says: "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, 'Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day.''"
This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal. To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his penis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?"
The man then turns to him and says: "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, 'Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day.''"
02-04-2008 | 03:04 PM
#23
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A blonde girl was stranded on an island and saw that she was approximately 100 miles from land. She decided to swim towards the land.
After swimming 50 miles, she decided she was too tired and swam back to the island.
After swimming 50 miles, she decided she was too tired and swam back to the island.
02-04-2008 | 09:07 PM
#25
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 1,284
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From: Modesto, CA
Originally Posted by vtechnique,Feb 4 2008, 03:04 PM
A blonde girl was stranded on an island and saw that she was approximately 100 miles from land. She decided to swim towards the land.
After swimming 50 miles, she decided she was too tired and swam back to the island.
After swimming 50 miles, she decided she was too tired and swam back to the island.
lol i must have some blonde in me..
nice...
02-05-2008 | 01:11 PM
#27
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 124
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From: San Jos
DARK IN HERE
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at
work, not aware that 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.
The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's
lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's
go outside and toss the baseball!"
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says, "$1000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take
you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the
little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at
work, not aware that 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.
The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's
lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's
go outside and toss the baseball!"
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says, "$1000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take
you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the
little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."
02-06-2008 | 09:42 AM
#30
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,925
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From: South Bay
A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her
right away. She protested, we don't know anything about each other."
He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."
So she consented, and they were married and went on a honeymoon to
a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel,
climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer,
entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed
by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened
out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations,
he came back and lay down on his towel. She said, That was incredible! .
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I
told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along.
" So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps.
She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at
one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already
touching the other end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle,
breast stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed
in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel,
barely breathing hard.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
"No, she said, I was a hooker in Cincinnati and I worked bothsides of the river.
right away. She protested, we don't know anything about each other."
He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."
So she consented, and they were married and went on a honeymoon to
a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel,
climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer,
entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed
by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened
out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations,
he came back and lay down on his towel. She said, That was incredible! .
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I
told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along.
" So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps.
She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at
one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already
touching the other end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle,
breast stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed
in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel,
barely breathing hard.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
"No, she said, I was a hooker in Cincinnati and I worked bothsides of the river.