RedRover

As the topic starter I'm very pleased with the results. It started at 3.24PM Yesterday and in less that 24 hours we've got 40 replies and > 300 views.

More importantly, all the replies have been thoughtful and of good standard. Well done guys

As to my own personal views, pehaps because of my age, I tend to take a more liberal and relaxed view of it all. Having lived through the sixties & seventies I think the pendulum has now swung too far in the other direction and that as a society we are now too uptight and politically correct.

Of the views expressed here I would tend to align myself closer to Blackie & Cashout rather than Naishou & Austblue. Whilst I don't condone the teacher's actions I don't think she deserves a jail sentence. Loss of her job & reputation are probably punishment enough.

As to the boy, I think the greatest psychological harm comes from the gross over-reaction by the parents and school authorities. The same applies if it was a young girl and a male teacher. If the child were to receive a sympathetic, understanding & supportive reaction from the parents they would recover & learn from the experience in a more positive way.

I'm not trying to encourage all young kids to go out and bonk their teacher and I do agree that a male teacher who bonks under-age girls deserves a jail sentence. What I'm trying to say (somehow) is that as a society we should educate parents, the media & educational authorities not to have an hysterical over-reaction and further damage the child when such events do happen.

AusS2000

I bet they'd go out on strike less if we did.

naishou

I don't know. It would depend on whether I viewed it as "scoring" or whether I had some idea it was a serious relationship, and whether it ruined my education and possibly the rest of my life. I don't think being exploited for sex is something people look back on with pride and you can't say that a young man is without a doubt viewing it as a conquest and has no emotional investment. That's a very macho view of sexuality where the man is always dominant regardless of his position and age. I doubt very much that was the case in this instance. If your girlfriend left you would you just say "oh, well, at least I scored" and then just forget about it? What if you were 14 and your girlfriend were your teacher?

What I'm suggesting you do is come up with a reason why it might be more harmful to a girl in this position than a boy. Apart from the fact that society might react more strongly in the former case (presumeably because they have the same views as you), I can't think of one. What goes for one goes for the other. Is anyone here suggesting that the law should ban relationships between men and young girls but not between women and young boys? I don't think you'd get too many feminists supporting that case.

Even if you argue that the only problem is the parents' reaction, you can't ignore that factor. Kids have to live with their parents and rely on them. If the excepted standards of a society lead parents to react as they do, and that reaction is harmful, then that is as legitimate a reason as any to forbid the action that causes it. It's not helpful to a kid to say "don't worry that your family relationships are ruined forever - it's just because they overreacted".

naishou

I consider myself very liberal. I certainly don't align myself with the current fashion for bigotry. I might not make the points I do regarding this case if I hadn't seen first hand what it can do to people. The perpetrator in that case most definitely deserved a gaol sentence in my view, but instead got a slap on the wrist.

I think a lot of the views expressed here would be considered unacceptable by just about everyone if we were talking about a male teacher and a female student, and that the implied double standard is not based on evidence but stereotypes and machismo. Some people seem to be openly saying that what applies to girls should not apply to boys, and that's about as far from liberal as you can get.

naishou

We really need somebody with some knowledge of psychology to chip in here. My sister has a degree in psychology. Maybe I can ask her if there are differences between how girls and boys might respond to this situation.

Iggy_Type_R

The argument with young girls is almost always that the act was forced upon them. ie rape. With boys you don't really have that (unless it is homosexual). Hence when a female minor has sex with an adult, it is considered rape because the minor cannot make a "valid judgement". That's me reading into the view that society and the legal system take. Of course once you get the media involved... you never find out the facts...

naishou

That's as big a stereotype as you'll find anywhere

I can tell you that the girl I know wasn't raped. She was highly willing, just like a lot of boys would be. It still f**ked up her life. I don't see why a boy would be any more capable of making a judgement than she was.

AusS2000

What I don't understand is why you think being 14 and dumped by a 40 year old is any worse than being 14 and being dumped by a 14 year old.

naishou

She probably wouldn't have followed a 14 year old to London.

Is this a serious question? 14 year olds who go out with 14 year olds generally don't believe that they are a having a mature adult relationship, or regard that relationship as the overriding factor in their lives. I don't think any 14 year old who's sleeping with someone over 20 years older thinks of it as just another boyfriend/girlfriend. They think of themselves as being special, chosen, mature beyond their years.

And you realise, of course, that sex between 14 year olds is also illegal?

AusS2000

Don't draw me into a comparison. I am speaking from a position I feel I have some experience with. I had my heart broken at the age of 14 and knew I would never go over it. Then a couple months later it was ancient history.

If you really want to open a can of worms ask the question this way: If you believe it's ok for a teacher to have a physical relationship with a fourteen year old boy does that include male teachers?

Personally I believe that the major impact of any affair like this is the fallout. Our society can be extremely puritanical at times.